Episode 8: Identity
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[00:00:00] Back in episode one, I described what it means to be a normal eater. And one of the things that I said and that you probably desire most, is to be the woman who effortlessly maintains her weight,
So if I got you to recite these words, I am a normal eater, what would you feel? Probably nothing. And that's because it doesn't feel true. It feels like an affirmation, a mantra, something that you're saying about yourself, but your brain is also like, that's complete bs. That's not true.
And this is the deepest reason why you keep starting and stopping, gaining and losing, feeling in control, but then spiraling. It's all because you see yourself as somebody who struggles. You've built a quiet subconscious identity around food. That sounds like I'm someone who just can't be trusted. I'm someone who always gains it back.
I just have a hard time sticking to anything. I do good during the week, but then I blow it on the weekends. And here's the truth. You can [00:01:00] take the actions of a normal eater, but if you don't become her, you will undo it. You'll sabotage, you'll recreate the struggle because your actions will eventually always match.
Who you believe you are.
This distinction really matters, and I want you to hear me. There is a difference between wanting the result of a normal eater. And becoming the person who produces that result. That's identity work. Identity is how you see yourself. It's not something you're born with, it's something you've created.
And for all of us, pretty much it's been done subconsciously.
So when I say identity, it's your self-image.. And the definition of self-image is the mental portrait you've subconsciously painted of who you are. It's shaped by your thoughts about your appearance, your personality, and what you think you're capable of.
And it influences not just how you [00:02:00] behave, but what you believe is even possible for you.
And most of us think that when we achieve a result. We'll finally feel like the person who has it.
When you get to your goal weight and you maintain it for a year, then you'll finally feel like the person who's a normal eater, But it's actually the opposite.
We become the person who has , that identity first, and then we get to keep it. Now, I will tell you this is the most valuable, worthwhile work that you can do in your entire life, because if you can rewire your identity around food and your identity around keeping weight off, you'll surprise yourself with who you become.
I remember my turning point in identity. It was that moment in the car after that rock bottom weekend at the waterpark with my family, and I was deep in the identity of somebody who struggled with food. Because remember at that time,
48 hours earlier, I had finally made that decision that this protocol, the no sugar, no flour, was not for [00:03:00] me. And I was on a three day bender eating all of the foods, fantasizing about starting over on Monday with a perfectionist plan, which is why I clicked that email in my junk folder. And when I heard that coach say that I could lose weight eating foods that I love,
but by practicing not overeating them. In that moment, I could see it. There was an identity shift.
I was already making my 24 hour plans. But remember they were somebody else's plans. No sugar, no flour restriction.
When she said that I could lose weight eating all foods, something shifted. I saw a version of me, a normal eater, not someone cutting out cake forever, not someone obsessed by macros, tracking restriction. Someone who could trust herself, who could have food in the house and not obsess.
Someone who could enjoy food and still feel at peace
because when you're trying to stop overeating, you don't wanna give up the cake. You want to eat the cake and be the woman who can be totally fine after two bites.
[00:04:00] That was the identity that I wanted and in that moment, a cracked open possibility. And I wanna say this right now because I believe that if you're listening to this right now and you feel even a flicker of that same possibility, don't ignore it.
This is how identity in becoming a normal eater starts.
And identity is not built just in one plan. It's built in micro moments. Starting with following through on one thing you'd said you'd do. Observing how food feels in your body, not from guilt, but from curiosity and gradually shifting your 24 hour plans to reflect the woman you're becoming.
And when you build that self-trust doing what you said that you would, your identity begins to shift.
And actually, this is what I do best inside of my programs. I teach women how to build this identity from day one, and I've actually seen this over and over again where clients who just four to six weeks in tell me, I know that I'm going to lose the weight for good, even when they still have weight to [00:05:00] lose, even when the scale is moving slowly. Why? Because they become the version of themselves who no longer gives up. They become the version of themselves who can see themselves changing even when they're not perfect.
They've stepped into a new identity. Now
right after this quick break, I'm gonna leave you with one question that ties us all together and helps you to start, begin identifying as a normal eater.
My name is Ashley and I was part of the 12 Month Mastermind, This program that JC has is structured in such a way that it helps create awareness into the why behind these things happened.
And she also gives you powerful tools to be able to start to trust yourself and your body, and it builds the confidence that you need to become a normal eater. and I would highly recommend anybody who is struggling with starting over or all or nothing thinking or just [00:06:00] can't seem to stay on a plan, even though. It's what you want most in the world, and you don't understand why you can't. , . I identified as an emotional eater for most of my life, and I would say now that I am someone who's a normal eater that maybe occasionally eats emotionally and.
JC in her program explains all of this and what it means, and if you're wondering if this is for you, I would highly recommend just giving it a try because you will not be disappointed with the results that you get.
Now let's talk about what those identity shifts can actually look like. And first I'm gonna start with old identity statements.
And don't be surprised if you can relate to all of these. I was there at one point in my life as well. Okay? I can't be trusted with food. I always mess up on the weekends. I'm good all day and then I lose it at night. I always will struggle with my weight. I hate planning. I never stick to it anyway. I need [00:07:00] structure, but I rebel when I get it.
I just have a sweet tooth. I'm just not someone who can follow through. I'll be the one client this won't work for. I need sugar to relax. These thoughts are your beliefs because you believe that they are true and they aren't. They don't have to be.
These old identity statements have the ability to keep you stuck for the rest of your life. But here's the thing, a belief is just a thought that you've had over and over and over again. Now here's the reminder is that your identity can change and how it changes is from new belief creations. So here are some new identity statements that you can have. I'm learning to trust myself with food. I'm the kind of woman who follows through.
I know what my body needs. I can enjoy food without overeating. I'm practicing how to feel instead of eat, I plan food. I [00:08:00] actually want.
I know exactly what to do. I can feel that this is possible. I am doing this no matter what. I am always improving. I manage my mind. It is okay for me to feel negative emotion. I love myself no matter what. I can handle any emotion. This is who I am now. I'm willing to do what it takes.
I am the one who creates my results. I am becoming a normal eater.
Now you might think, okay, these don't seem believable, and are you telling me that I have to recite Mantras to believe all these new thoughts? That's not actually how it works, and no, I'm not saying that the way we build identity in my program is actually by saying believable thoughts.
And one of the simple ways that I teach this is through celebrating wins.
Actually, one of my clients recently wrapped up her 10 weeks inside the accelerator, and she told me how impactful celebrating her wins each week was. Like [00:09:00] most people in the beginning, she felt resistant.
She told me, you know, this feels uncomfortable. This is weird. But around week six or seven, she emailed me to say, jc, I woke up today and for the first time in my life, I truly believe that lasting change is possible for me. Now, how does that happen? How does someone go from a lifetime of believing they would always struggle to waking up and believing that change is possible?
It's not an accident. It's this work, it's the identity work that I teach you
When you start paying attention to those small shifts that you're making every day. Eating like a normal eater.
Thinking like a normal eater. Course correcting when the self-sabotage comes.
You begin to step into normal eating identity,
and I want you to think about your journey like this. Your destination is you with the identity as a normal eater, and the vehicle that gets you to that destination is the thought work. It is the tools that I teach [00:10:00] you that will help you manage your mind and overcome every single obstacle on that journey. Now, the last thing I wanna leave you with is what I kind of started with, which is, are you willing to become her, not just chase the result, not just have the result?
But do the deeper lasting work of becoming the woman who creates that normal eating result over and over again. Because once you become her, you never go back. Your identity is set.
if you're ready to stop passively learning and start living this work to implement it, apply it, and get the results that last, then I wanna invite you again to come join me in the 10, 10, 10 Accelerator. It starts the moment that you join.
You are going to become a version of yourself that has less pain, less suffering. Who has the capacity to feel any emotion so that you can stop taking the actions that you don't wanna take anymore, the [00:11:00] sabotaging actions, and you'll finally become the version of yourself that you deeply desire to be.
And I'm calling forward the woman who knows that she's ready to go to great, ready to invest in herself and ready to believe in that possibility of her own transformation simply from doing the work on herself. And look, there are two really compelling reasons why you should consider joining these programs.
The first one is statistically, you are 65% more likely to achieve something when you are with other people. So I want you to have a cohort and both the Mastermind and the 10, 10 10 Accelerator have a cohort and you will be with other women who have similar but different struggles than you, but are going after the same goal to become normal eaters. they'll be getting coached on topics that are similar to yours, where you'll see that you'll be getting coached vicariously just by watching them.
And the second reason, which is more important, is implementation.. If you're reading books, doing courses, or consuming Instagram [00:12:00] content, you are a consumer. You are not a doer yet.
When you are in the accelerator, you're gonna feel supported for 10 weeks doing the work.
This is for the woman who's ready to go,
who wants to get the result.
With waking up as a normal eater,
and if you've been wondering about the 12 Month Mastermind, that is my high touch coaching program for women who want longer support as they become the normal eater for good. So inside the Mastermind, we don't just stop at weight loss and normal eating, we go deeper. We uplevel your relationships, your health, your goals, your life.
So if you know deep down that you're ready for a longer commitment, I want you to check out the 12 Month Mastermind and let me coach you for an entire year. Both options will get you to the result that you're after.
I hope you'll take the desire seriously to wake up as a normal eater, and I would love to have you in my world.
Thank you so much for listening to this podcast, and I hope to see you soon. Bye.
